Ansley Fones

So Obama may not have had the saintliest of motivations when he came out in vague favor of same-sex marriage (if states are okay with it, too). This is me surprised.

vague surprise
Loving Warhol gifs.

This was not an act of personal conscious, so say the newsters – the President just did what popular opinion dictated he must in order to win his upcoming election.

What a trickster!

No but seriously – a large percentage of Americans (between 38% and 60% depending on where you’re looking) and a straight-up majority of his core constituency support same-sex marriage. Am I super happy he spoke out in support of ending a legal inequality? Of course. Did he pretty much have to? Totally.

It certainly doesn’t lessen to any extent the progress that we as Americans are making towards a more loving future. Enough of us have spoken out in favor of the right to marry whomsoever you choose and made enough racket that the Defender of the Constitution has willingly, with whatever motive, thrown his weight behind our cause.

Good job, everybody. Solid milestone.

I don’t write about sports. It’s not my thing.

But tonight, my roommate had some people over, and I met a new person with interesting things to say like how she had a friend who had shattered her arm at 19 as a professional gymnast.

Her friend now has two iron rods in her arm. Her dominant arm.

These days – maybe more than ever – there is a wide divide between the sports-minded and the un-interested. College sports has shocked us more than ever in the last few years, and pro sports has hardly been more encouraging. Athletes on the whole seem ill-behaved, over-indulged, and over-paid.

Or is that because only the negative stories make NPR?

Point being, this woman’s friend’s arm will never be the same. Her dominant arm. It’s been shattered.

It reminded me that athletes are necessarily willing to sacrifice for their passion. They push their bodies to the outer limits. And some of them ultimately pay a grueling price.

Don’t misunderstand me – I still think NASCAR is completely ridiculous. Sorry, but I’ve been in too many car accidents to appreciate it.

But sports in general are, perhaps, more deserving of my respect.

1. Go all cheesy-cartoon-tastic when you first wake up in the morning, and stretch your limbs out really wide. Be gentle. Stretch right through your fingertips and your toes. You’ll burst right into your morning.

2. Do calf presses and quad stretches against a wall while you brush your teeth. Thirty seconds of calves on each side, then repeat with quads for a standard two-minute brushing. You’ll have to brush with your non-dominant hand momentarily, so you get bonus points for dexterity.

3. The shower has potential for slippage, so be careful if you attempt stretching mid-rinse.

4. When you put your shoes on, keep your knees straight as you reach to put the shoe down in front of you. Stretch through your hamstrings while you tie your shoes.

5. Do calf raises anywhere. Waiting for the train. Doing dishes. On the phone. People will look at you funny, but only because they are glaring with envy at your sculpted leg rockets.¹

6. Sit and stand up straight as much as humanly possible. This is still stretching your back – stretching it from that hunch you’re forming into its proper alignment – and it will make you look totally important.

7. Download and install a Pomodoro timer on your computer. Set it to go off in one hour intervals whenever you’re at your desk, and at the end of each hour, do a few forearm stretches and wrist circles. Your arms will be so happy.

8. Move in weird ways as much as possible. Weird movement stretches weird muscles and keeps them in shape.

9. Do a couple side bends and a gentle backbend when you get up to go to lunch.

10. Being alone in an elevator is a rare treat, but a prime opportunity for an all out dance break.

11. Be as active as possible during lunch. Not only will you use those muscles, but you’ll boost your cognitive function for the afternoon!

12. On your way home, go Ministry of Silly Walks for 20 paces and substitute lunges for steps. If you’re particularly self-conscious, you may also wish to practice Not Being Seen during this exercise.

13. TV time is for stretching. Just drill that message right into your head. Do floor exercises or a little yoga during commercials. Dance to the background music of whatever your watching. Do 20 jumping jacks whenever anyone says “guaranteed.”

14. Take a minute or two right before bed to stretch whatever muscles feed like they need it. Maybe give a mini massage to your forearms, hands, head, or wherever. Or your sexy leg rockets.²

1. This calf-building exercise will work for you, I’ll bet, but never for me. My calves are resolutely scrawny. (Return to where you were.)

2. Yours, not mine. (Return to where you were.)

dancing ans As a dedicated nerd, practiced in both gadgetry geekdom and health nutness, the Nike Fuelband was an obvious buy. A cross between a pedometer and a jet black livestrong bracelet, the Fuelband has been received across the internet with mixed reviews as “a friendly reminder to stop being lazy.” But that’s exactly what I wanted.

I was just curious about how much I move. Turns out, quite a lot.

So you wear it on your wrist, and your goal is to collect “Fuel Points,” which are just arbitrary units of movement, measured by the accelerometer in the bracelet. A day of average movement might rack up 2,000 Fuel Points, an active day will get you about 3,000, and 5,000 is “damn girl!” territory. My daily goal started at 3,000.

I run three days a week, which certainly helps push me towards my goal on those days. A 20 minute interval run will get me 800 to 1,000 points. A one-hour Zumba class I got through Groupon earned me a whopping 1,800!

But some days, I’m less active. Yoga doesn’t help at all – only 200 points for an hour, and sitting at my desk all day can rack me up less than 400 over a whole work day.

So when I’m short on points? Well, I just gotta dance! I dance while I cook dinner, I dance while I watch TV, and I even dance in the single stall bathrooms at work. I need points, sure, but that’s just the excuse.

With the Nike Fuelband, dancing around my living room while my boyfriend and I watch the Food Network has purpose. Without it, I’m a nut.

At $149, the price tag was definitely cause for hesitation, but now, four weeks later, I am certain I’ve got my money’s worth. I’ve raised my goal to 3,250 now, and hit it everyday – though I’m right down to the wire sometimes.

11:50pm and I’m happily dancing it out.

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Injured athletes remind us that sports have costs.

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How the Nike Fuelband Released My Inner Dancer